Summer is a Great time to Sun Your Parts

Suns out guns out.

Suns out emotional gunk is out.

Suns out karmic junk is out.

😬

I don't know if you experience the same, but I find relationships—with myself and others—get bubbly during the hot, bright months.

There's something about the freedom and mobility. Something about the energy and heat that brings dormant things to the surface.

I find myself on the tail end (perhaps?) of several weeks of anxiety, release, re-parenting and rebirth. Across my personal life and business life. Across my mothering and strategizing.

The singular tool that has been the most helpful for me during this time is parts work.

Parts work, defined by Annie Wright LMFT on Psychology Today is:

...a therapeutic lens that assumes that each of us has many different parts to our minds and psyches. Each of these parts (or subpersonalities) has unique needs, wants, and beliefs and may be consciously or unconsciously helping or harming us as we move through our days encountering different situations, triggers, and scenarios.

When an emotion, behavior or thought crops up in me that I would rather not have, instead of rushing to redirect it, I slow down to ask for the meaning behind it.

I tune in and ask what part is present. What is it protecting me from? What does it need to feel safe? What wisdom is it sharing? Where has its voice not felt heard before in my life?

This conversation with myself transforms periods of density and struggle into ripe opportunities for deeper self-discovery, self-compassion and self-actualization.

In Practice

Parts work has a place in your vocational life, not just personal life.

Let's take a pernicious situation with a client.

You find yourself, time and time again, ignoring scope creep.
Responding to frantic late-night and early-morning calls.
Acquiescing to coordinating work outside of your project.

You find yourself feeling like establishing boundaries would explode your world and your relationship.

And so you continue to let this messy little situation eat into your margin, your peace, your time.

You may jump to blame. Beating yourself up. Trying to force a conversation.

But if you pause...

Breathe.

And get curious about the why within—

You may find the path forward more easeful, expansive and aligned.

You may find that there is a young part in you who felt like she was required to have no needs or boundaries to receive affection from her parents.

You may find that there is a pre-teen part in you who was bullied at school and learned that to honor herself (yourself) and her needs is to be the nail flattened by the hammer.

You may find that there is an adult part in you who endured a manipulative relationship and learned to be okay with a little (a lot of) give here and a little (a lot of) give there.

And you may find that, as you ask how these parts are trying to protect you, as you assure them of their safety, as you integrate their wisdom—you are able to bring order and peace to your client problem in a way that is radically true to yourself and the vision of your business.

It may sound like a lot, and sometimes it is. But crafting a business built on alignment with—and not extraction of—your energy requires a relationship with yourself in a way most business owners don't even consider.

Going from Here

While you're out sunning, cavorting, and otherwise enjoying this season (if where you are is in summer), shed some warmth and light on your inside world as well.

Pull the thread of an emotion or tight situation and see what you reveal to yourself.

~

As always, I love to hear from you! The comments are open for thoughts, questions, concerns, violent (but not too violent) reactions.

Edi